Then I thought I saw him in the queue

Sometimes I think I'm going crazy or something, sometimes not. I have been hallucinating these days, believe me - Tom is everywhere I go, it's like he wants to keep me company. Maybe he also thinks like that, maybe he also takes a little time of his day to think about me or pretend I am there, by his side saying everything's going to be okay.

I create situations, I do domestic chores talking to myself as if he could listen to what I am saying. I wish, from the deepest part of my being, with all my soul and heart, that he could be here - or even better, that I could be there, because I would be far away from all this mess that is my life in this house. My room is in a mess, my life is in a mess, my parents are in a mess, my sister makes mess. There I would be safe, just me and him, just our mess, our passions, our conversations lasting evenings and mornings, our bodies close to eachother exhausted of all the joy we shared, our kisses and even our fights. Like Brandon would say in "Someday When We're Old" I want to live my days eternaly with him. I want to get old by his side to remember the good moments that we made love and cried, our first met, our first kiss, the first time he held my hand and I felt like the luckiest woman in the world, cause I'd got him.

That's how I feel.

Everyday I wake up in a new world/ the weather is just as bad/ and it looks the same. Without him, it'll all be the same, forever a world without colour, bad weather, grey skies.

Please, come to me soon, cause I won't wait forever - I might die lonely.